A Knight to Remember: Ted Cruz for King

"Burn the illegal immigrants!
Drown the scientists!
Kill the taxes!"
"This shit's 'bout to get Medieval."

"Canadian," Ted Cruz is running for president. This news has buoyed the spirits of late-night talk show hosts and comedians worldwide. Even Rush Limbaugh is jizzing his pants. Despite the prospect that the majority of America is unable to imagine him as President, he is a serious contender. And this should give us pause  – whether you like him or not – to ask why.